Hi! I am an HR with 5+ years of experience in career coaching, recruitment, and talent management. Being a Rogerian, I believe in openness, acceptance, and empathy as the key factors of successful relationships. Right now, I am interested in coaching psychology as a scientific tool to increase the performance and wellbeing of tech professionals.
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It's NOT limiting to have limiting beliefs. 🍀
We, coaches, often tend to identify them in our clients' thinking, dismantle their logic, or even subtly challenge their purpose.
However, we should not forget that various limiting beliefs as well as cognitive biases are actually precious to people.
Why? Because they help us survive. Or at least this is what our brains 'think'. 🧠
If let's say, John feared public speaking his whole life, as it prevented him from experiencing the nightmares of shame and ridicule, why would he suddenly want to give up his limiting belief?
Limiting beliefs are OK as long as you (1) are aware of them, (2) you consciously choose to live according to their rules, and (3) you are happy about their function. ☀️
Unless we enjoy chaos, we don't have to open up or say YES to every possibility.
What we CAN do is change our communication by putting the limiting belief in the beginning of the sentence and finishing with a positive one.
Example: I fear public speaking, but I would love to learn it in the future!
The formula is especially useful when we have to say NO to another person, but we want to maintain a constructive relationship.
Life is complex, so we should better start enjoying the fruits of it. 😌
"Yes, but..."
Usually what comes after 'but' is the limiting belief, the excuse
#suicidepreventionday
There was a period in my life when I was seriously considering suicide as a reasonable option.
The reasoning was as follows:
↪️ Suffering reduces our health and wellbeing
↪️ Everyone suffers for one reason or another
↪️ I produce more suffering when I am alive
↪️ I want to reduce the suffering in the world
↪️ Therefore, I would rather not live
At the time, I was not a "happy" person (to be honest, I am not sure if I am right now), so it is likely that my thinking was constrained by negative emotions and cognitive biases.
After around 5 or more therapy sessions, I started questioning the idea that suffering was necessarily bad (huge thanks to my therapist who pushed back on my ideas and never gave up on me 🙏).
I realized that suffering is what actually makes life interesting by forcing us to re-evaluate our goals and move forward.
Although I still believe that we could do better, especially in places torn by war and hunger, I do not treat suffering as an illness anymore.
This is what I learnt from the period: if you are in pain, don't go only for the pleasurable (too short-term) or the meaningful (too long-term).
Go rather for the interesting!
Being a little bit more curious about yourself, others, and the world does not require you to have a lot of money, many friends, or even go outside.
Here is a list of interesting activities you can do to increase your curiosity:
➡️ Explore new music, cinema, or literature
➡️ Express more gratitude to strangers
➡️ Message/call an old friend or colleague
➡️ Rearrange the furniture in your room
➡️ Take a free course on a weird topic
➡️ Try a new physical exercise every day
➡️ Share your knowledge for free
➡️ Start writing humorous short stories
➡️ Visit the parts of the city you've never been to
➡️ Write an autobiography
Also, remember that
(1) your suffering won't last forever,
(2) you are not alone, and
(3) asking for help can be also interesting.
So, take care of yourself and stay curious. 💛
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10 comments1 shared
Povilas GodliauskasFounder & Coach @ coach.lt
And in my experience, people who state that they are fully free from any pain or suffering are usually in denial. :) But I would like to be wrong.
Why do I feel that Slack (the software) is not good for your productivity and wellbeing? 🤔
Fortunately, I don't have to use it very often, but many do e v e r y s i n g l e d a y, and I am not sure what to make of it...
Any smart alternatives or ways to go about the drawbacks of Slack and similar software???
Povilas GodliauskasFounder & Coach @ coach.lt
Justas Janauskas, how do you talk to your team, especially if you all are working remotely?
Why many leaders in tech (and other areas) are actually not leaders? 🤔
Yes, this one was somewhat emotional, spontaneous, and all-over-the-place. 🔥
But it's difficult not to be emotional when you care about the wellbeing of people and tech industry in general.
So, be a good leader! Show how you can lead yourself before you decide to lead others. 👌
P. S. If you are reading or watching this, let me know how do you see leadershp.
What makes a good software engineer? 💻
This is the question which popped in my head when I decided to improvise a video and upload it on Qoorio.
No preparation, no makeup, no filters, just sheer stream of consciousness on topic(s) which I find important.
Despite the low volume and weird intonation, I found the video relatively bearable to watch, what do you think? 🌿
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