Hi! I am an HR with 5+ years of experience in career coaching, recruitment, and talent management. I believe that openness, acceptance, and empathy are the key factors of successful relationships. Right now, I am interested in coaching psychology as a scientific tool to increase the performance and wellbeing of tech professionals.
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In a culturally biased system, you do not have to get empowered by someone to feel empowered. What you need is a value proposition that would be selected for by the system, regardless of your gender, race, age, or any other identity factor.
In the early days of my HR career, I found myself in various situations when I felt underpowered by controlling or toxic managers. They (the powerful) believed that I had to earn their trust through blind loyalty and over-work rather than partnership and smart-work.
What did I do? At first, I tried to play by the rules (what most people do). It worked in the beginning until I burned out and became miserable. Later, when I became a bit wiser, I started challenging their status quo and unhealthy decisions. It also did not work, as I was not seen as a "team player" (this is the verbiage they would use against independents).
Eventually, I did something totally different: I left the corporate world to pursue my own IT recruitment business. It was not easy in the first year or so (it took some time to solidify my client base), but eventually, it worked out really well: good work led to new referrals without any marketing. How did it feel? It felt empowering! Because I did not have to kiss anyone's feet to get well-paid and do what I was passionate about.
So if you want to get into a culturally biased system and succeed, you either
▶️ play according to the rules (traditional path, very tough, requires a lot of sacrifices),
▶️ attempt to change them (important for social change, but creates a lot of backlash),
▶️ wait for a "Bill Gates" type to hand it over to you (the "empowerment" stuff, gives you the fish, not the rod), or
▶️ you hack it by creating or finding a backdoor (the most independent but rewarding path)
In my situation, the backdoor was the intuition and later the gained understanding that many small to midsized companies valued working with freelancers more than with big agencies. So, I was able to provide them with what they actually needed (not necessarily asked) which was speed, quality, and, most importantly, valuable guidance.
When you really think about it, a free market does not care about your gender, age, or any other form of identity, as long as you are able to create value and put money into the system. Unfortunately, working internally, it becomes much more difficult, as you have to compete with other employees first before you are allowed to compete on behalf of the organization with other market players.
So, if you also consider yourself a lone wolf, one of the things you could do for your career (especially here in Lithuania) is not pursue a career (!) but rather create a business and do it your own way instead of waiting for someone to hand you over a valuable position, because you are X (insert identity) or you did Y (insert sacrifice).
As long as the legal system and market is more or less fair and transparent, the only fight you have to win is not with the "evil capitalists" but yourself. Unless you are fine with being a slave to the system, the psychological work will have to be done.
5
It's not the tech giants that are responsible for the negative effects of their digital products, including various hate crimes and increased suicide rates. It's the ad-driven business model that is endorsed by their investors.
I recently watched a Joe Rogan podcast where he talked to Tristan Harris, an ex-Google engineer and one of the people behind the documentary "The Social Dilemma" (2020).
They talked a lot about the problems of social networks, such as manipulative algorithms and their direct effects on the political climate, which I found really interesting.
However, what they did not really talk about are the billionaires who are the major shareholders of Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, etc., essentially providing the ground for all the problems we are facing right know.
Who are the major investors of these companies? What are they thinking about? Unless they are psychopaths, why aren't they pulling their money out of these ethically flawed ventures?
If the negative effects of social media are so big of the deal, as described in the documentary, why aren't we including the elephants in the room? ~3000 billionaires is not a lot to with whom to have an adult conversation.
As a side note, if every person just stopped for a second before scrolling one's biased feed or sending the hate-driven comment and asked oneself "Why I am really doing this?", maybe we would not be even having this conversation.
Povilas GodliauskasFounder & Coach @ coach.lt
I am not sure if that is the case. All people (both rich and not) rationalize to a certain extent. It would be interesting to learn what are they really thinking instead of projecting our own ideas.
Povilas,
Do you think interviewing for grit is important while hiring? How to interview for grit?
Thank you!
Asked by Mangirdas Adomaitis
Great question!
There are different definitions of grit, so let me give you mine. I define grit as "passionate perseverance despite failure".
Research shows that grit is associated with career success, along with high consciousness (personality trait) and particularly high IQ (general intelligence).
Contrary to consciousness and IQ that are "programmed" by our genes and developed through proper parenting/schooling, grit is one of the few abilities that can be actually taught or learned, even in later stages of life.
So, if you are a hiring manager and you want to identify grit in your candidates, here is what you can do at every recruitment stage:
1. Employer branding. Share the success stories of your employees that you consider gritty. Make sure that gritty candidates could identify with your gritty colleagues. A good example will always attract good people.
2. Pre-screening. Look in the CV or LinkedIn for hints of projects that required a lot of time and effort and had a high risk of failure. If the candidate managed to surf through the project and feels proud about it, whether the project succeeded or failed, the person might be gritty.
3. Interviewing. While listening to the person's story, look for hints of perseverance and passion. People who are considered gritty do not give up easily, maintain focus, and are able to postpone pleasure, e.g. product shipment, high revenues, etc. You can also ask to provide specific examples.
4. Psychological assessment. If you have the resources, you can always test people using personality tests. Here is an example of a valid and reliable one: https://angeladuckworth.com/grit-scale/. However, do not trust only in the test results, see the bigger picture.
Here is a list of red flags that may indicate a lack of grit:
- Tendency to switch between jobs or projects without no particular reason (however, do not jump to conclusions without hearing the candidate's story first)
- Tendency to drop out of the university or college, especially during the last years of study (however, make sure that the person just did not choose an interesting job over boring studies)
- Difficulty keeping attention on a single task, especially if the task is supposed to be interesting and engaging (this is more visible during hands-on technical interviews)
- Lack of passion or excitement about one's job, area of interest, or field of expertise (gritty people are usually "geeks" in their own unique way and they will let you know about their nerdiness during the interview)
Hope I answered!
Povilas GodliauskasFounder & Coach @ coach.lt
, usually junior people study at uni or college, which can provide a huge amount of useful information about the person's perseverance (e.g. while writing the thesis). However, in many countries, particularly Lithuania, higher education is underrated, although it is the place where the majority of gritty people build their work ethic.
For many, "Social Dilemma" (2020) has been an eye-opening experience. For me though the most eye-opening fact was the overblown reaction to the film. 😶
It's not that we never realized our data was (ab)used for marketing purposes, social media was addictive, or engineers were not the most avid users of their products.
It's that many knew (at least deep down) they shared a bed with the devil. However, suddenly some people stumbled upon a visually pleasing (but super predictable) documentary and now the world looks different.
To me, the overrated reaction is a reminder of how persuasive a technology-driven product can be, whether it's a "world-changing" app, social media, or a dramatic flick by Netflix, guilty of the same tactics their film is attempting to criticize. 💩
Povilas GodliauskasFounder & Coach @ coach.lt
"Show people something popular because it's probably something good" does not sound intelligent. No smart person would assume that popular = good. Furthermore, their job was to create products that increase profits. And they did. Of course, I am not blaming the engineers. They just did what they were asked, but that's in itself a problem.
It's NOT limiting to have limiting beliefs. 🍀
We, coaches, often tend to identify them in our clients' thinking, dismantle their logic, or even subtly challenge their purpose.
However, we should not forget that various limiting beliefs as well as cognitive biases are actually precious to people.
Why? Because they help us survive. Or at least this is what our brains 'think'. 🧠
If let's say, John feared public speaking his whole life, as it prevented him from experiencing the nightmares of shame and ridicule, why would he suddenly want to give up his limiting belief?
Limiting beliefs are OK as long as you (1) are aware of them, (2) you consciously choose to live according to their rules, and (3) you are happy about their function. ☀️
Unless we enjoy chaos, we don't have to open up or say YES to every possibility.
What we CAN do is change our communication by putting the limiting belief in the beginning of the sentence and finishing with a positive one.
Example: I fear public speaking, but I would love to learn it in the future!
The formula is especially useful when we have to say NO to another person, but we want to maintain a constructive relationship.
Life is complex, so we should better start enjoying the fruits of it. 😌
"Yes, but..."
Usually what comes after 'but' is the limiting belief, the excuse
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