You choose how to portrait yourself to others You choose how the world will look at you..
Everyone has ever said something of the sort of ‘I suck at this’ or ‘I’m so stupid/clumsy/weak/ugly etc.’. Sadly this is the way we portrait our self’s in the minds of others. This way the person on the other side will start to think of us because we are literally putting ideas (unconsciously) of how we will be looked at.
If you don’t say it people won’t pay attention to it/think of it/notice it.
My advice is to think about what you are saying about yourself to others. Think about “Do I want them to think of me this way?” “Do I want to put this idea in their head about me?”.
By not saying the negative and focusing on the positive you will get a step closer to self love, people will remember you for your positives and not think about/notice your negatives.
Dear readers: have you ever tough about this? Do you have any experience with this? Do you have any additional advise ? - please share your story. 😊
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Short and brief definition:
Self-love is when you love yourself completely.
You accept all your faults and weaknesses. You focus on your strengths. To love yourself does not mean that you cannot and should not work on yourself. It simply means that you don't let bad days or your own sometimes stupid actions and qualities drag you down.
Contrary to popular belief, self-love does not mean that you are arrogant, conceited and selfish either.
Self-love means that you know your worth and accept and appreciate yourself as a person - without any external influences.
Comparing yourself to others is the ultimate self-love killer!
If you always compare yourself to others, it is very difficult to accept yourself as you are.
No other person is exactly like you, no other person sees the world exactly like you!
No other person has your thoughts, sensations, education, experiences.
So you cannot compare yourself with strangers, friends, not even with your relatives.
Is self-care the same as self-love?
Yes and No.
Self-care is related to self-love, yet self-care is not synonymous with self-love.
With self-care, you basically take care of yourself - as the name suggests.
You do things that are good for your head and body. Sports, reading, yoga, sleeping, bathing, further education, partying, walking, etc.
Self-love is about your inner relationship to yourself. You know your worth and it does not depend on any person or thing.
Let's get a little bit more personal here. ⠀
My self love story…⠀
It was blurry and it was painful. That’s what I remember from my past. I used to feel sad, anxious and worthless. 😓 ⠀
I never felt worthy and I surely didn’t see my value. On top of that I did a lot of self-destructive things that I am not proud of. But, they’re part of my story and I learned to accept them. ⠀
I can tell you, I felt trapped. But, despite feeling so devastated, I knew that there HAS to be more to life than feeling like this. “Is this all there is to life? It can’t be”, that’s what I kept telling myself. 🔗 ⠀
So, I had to make a choice: Do I want to keep feeling this way? Or do I want to make a change? I immediately knew the answer. 💡 ⠀
The only option was to start feeling better and the only person who could help me was ME. Nobody else. 💪 ⠀
That’s where my drastic change began. I took measures into my own hands and changed everything. Step by step. I stopped doing harmful things, cut off the wrong people and tried to fight through all the pain and all the sad. It was an uphill battle, but oh so worth it. ⛰️ ⠀
Now, several years later, with many setbacks and challenges that I had to deal with, I can truly say I love, respect and accept myself the way I am. ⠀
My self-talk has become a lot more positive and encouraging. 💖 ⠀
Fear can’t hold me back anymore and every challenge is welcome because I know the difficult things in life help me grow. Even if they’re painful, I KNOW I can do it. ⠀
Throughout my journey I’ve learned a lot of techniques to deal with negative emotions, setbacks, lack of self-love, confidence and self-worth. 🤗✨ ⠀
Now I want to help YOU with my experience. It all works because I’ve used and still use some of these techniques to this day. Everything is proved and tested by me and by past clients. ⠀
What's your self-love story? Let me know in the comments. Let's have a great conversation ☺️⠀
3/4 introducing my ‘hurdles race’ method for eliminating self-sabotage that comes from FEAR OF SUCCESS.
This method also cures many aspects of fear of failure, because it works by addressing the fear of the unknown of our subconscious mind, which is the cause of the self-sabotage (this was covered in parts 1 and 2)
So the hurdles race method is an analogy based on an athlete in a hurdles race. They have four STEPS between each hurdle, and they have several HURDLES to clear.
If we imagine we are partially blindfolded and we can only see the step we are on, we will be afraid to take a single step, and never go forward. If we are a bit less blindfolded and can see one step in front of us, we will move forward very carefully.
If we can see some more, and see all the way to our next hurdle, we can safely take our steps towards this hurdle. BUT we will be afraid to make the jump over the hurdle, because we don’t see what is on the other side!
This is exactly how our subconscious brain works. The less it knows about the future, the more hesitant it is. If you have multiple medium sized goals to hit a big goal, this is like the steps (medium goals) and the hurdle (big goal).
But if you notice, it is not hitting the goal that we are scared of in our hurdles race, and it is not hitting the goal that our subconscious is afraid of. Read again, and you will see that it is not knowing what is BEYOND that goal that makes us scared of achieving the goal.
So the reason you are self-sabotaging and not hitting your medium goals is not because you are afraid of hitting the next goal, it is because you are afraid of the goal after. If you are hitting your medium goals but never clearing that big hurdle goal, it is because you are afraid of what comes after that!
In part 4, we will look at how to implement the solution to this, why it works, and use the hurdles race metaphor to cure our self-sabotaging fear of success to allow us to progress comfortably
If you have any thoughts, comments or questions let me know!