Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Today I am still learning in the seminar "Cognitive behavior Therapy for Couples". Using a chance, another piece about the couples, this time on perfectionism. Perfectionism usually leads to constant stress - very often an assumption is made that if things are not finished to perfection, then it is not worth trying at all. If there is just a shadow of doubt that it may not happen perfectly - a fear of action starts developing as well (what if it is not perfect? (guessing the future)? it will be a catastrophe! (overestimations, thinking black and white). When fear of action steps in - procrastination grows. The problems you have identified stay unresolved, accumulate and strengthen one another. In situations like that self oriented perfectionism ("I am not good enough") is unhelpful, and other oriented perfectionism is unhelpful ("she is not worthy of me"). Finally, socially imposed perfectionism is not helpful either ("couldn't you have worked on it for a bit longer?"). So what to do? Admit that you are being lead by perfectionism. Identify your fears. Try not to push and punish yourself with even stricter requirements - rather try to help and support yourself. Start formulating and using "good enough" measurement, and then adding even more levels of measurement, not just "white-black" or "nothing-perfect". Finally, do not worry if it does not happen quickly - this does not mean that you have failed, this means that what is happening, is a long process. Photo: h kama from Pixabay Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-it-together/202102/when-perfectionism-harms-you-or-your-relationships My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach. #spoonfulofreason #psychology #relationship #couple #perfectionism #ideal
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Meta-analysis. What is the trait most important for the happy relationships? Wealth, health, patience? No, no and no. This meta-analysis (in this case, summarized results from 174 various research papers) states that the most important trait is psychological flexibility. Having this important yet underrated trait means that people even in very stressful situation can: - remain open and accept both good and bad from life - stay present - gently accept difficult, complex feelings and let them go - see a wider context of issues in question - live according to the core values - stay resilient while pursuing important life goals The happiness in relationships improves because people are able to live in the moment and in cohesion, are better at parenting and at resolving conflicts and are better able to take care of their children well-being. Psychological flexibility may be improved by mindful attention to the events in your life, cognitive therapy practices (such as Socratic questioning) and meditation. Research: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2212144720301952 Photo: Hari Mohan from Pixabay My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach. #spoonfulofreason #research #happiness #psychologicalflexibility

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Lina LinkeviciuteLuxury Business and Sales Professional/Theatre Director/Timeless Paintings
Absolutely interesting stuff !!! Would like to know more about psychological flexibility !
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Words can hurt, maybe even more than fists. Does that happen to you? Do people keep things from you on purpose, do not share their thoughts and feelings, dismiss and counter your memories, blame you for the things you cannot control, calling you names or using hurtful labels? Well, that is verbal psychological abuse, a common component of romantic relationships, friendships and parent-child relationships. None ever deserves to be treated like that, and such behavior should always be objected. First instinct is to always argue with the abuser and to prove him or her wrong. And that would be the right instinct if it was a rational conversation, which is never that with an abuser. An effective strategy is to ignore the content of any hurtful phrase and calmly call out the abuser. Do not get into argument. If this calm statement does not work - leave the situation, limit the encounters with the abuser, or consider ending the relationship (which might be difficult, if you depend on the abuser - but still worth considering). Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/201612/the-best-way-end-verbal-abuse Photo: Ulrike Mai from Pixabay My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach. #spoonfulofreason #psychology #verbalabuse #psychologicalabuse
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Documentary I would like to recommend: "Heal" (available on Netflix). I will start with the statement that I am always quite careful with non-scientific methods as well as paranormal things, and value most of them as interesting from cultural perspective and not something to rely on. Nevertheless, most of this documentary is about the biopsychosocial model, about how mind and body are related, how it is important to not give up and use every measure in order to achieve good and balanced health for every one. https://www.netflix.com/lt/title/80220013 #spoonfulofreason #psychology #health #whattowatch

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Miu BashoEngineer student, lab technician pharmaceutical industry
At times likes these, I believe this is a good recommendation to watch. Thank you!
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