Today I am learning things in the seminar "Cognitive behavior Therapy for Couples". The teacher is awesomely beautiful haircut free for about a year :)
For that occasion, a research that I already shared.
Why do relationships break apart? Partners not satisfied? Well, yes, but... Success in relationship depends on how we asses the risk in the relationship, how we assess the tension between need to protect ourselves and and need to develop relationship. Happy relationships happen only when risks are accepted. Need to develop relationship is wish to be together, to open up, to be related, to be part of, to share. When you state that this wish is weak - or that risk of opening up is big - then relationship is at risk of breaking apart. And here it is very important to mark the difference: the perceived benefit, warmth of the relationship is little. It is not the harm and hurt in the relationship that makes it weak. It is not that it IS bad - it is that it is NOT good. I would like to remind you the standard "what did I do wrong?". Nothing. But that is not the core of the good relationship. The core is what is good, what makes you happy. If there is no happiness - ten relationship has nothing to hold on to, research says.
And the fact that you do not hit your partner or that you are faithful to him/her is not a good enough reason to make your relationship working. What do you do to make him/her happy? What does he/she do to make you happy?
Photo: Pexels from Pixabay
My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach.
#spoonfulofreason #psychology #coouple #relationship #happiness
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Today I would like to recommend a book - Jon Kabat-Zinn "Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness meditation for everyday life". Meditation is one of the most valuable skills that you can learn to improve and maintain your health in a good condition.
This means your mental health as well as your physical health, which is definitely very much related to and dependant on your psychological balance.
The author is Western so the book does not contain multiple words that are not relatable to our daily life and language. I also would like to dissipate another often used and incorrect idea - meditation is not a practice of silencing your thoughts. Meditation is practice of concentrating your focus on your passing thoughts, on may object or action. You may meditate while cleaning your home, walking, or sitting down. You don't need to have a mat, sit in lotus pose or burn incense - you may choose to use it all ar one of it, if it helps you to focus.
Take a breath. Lightly exhale.
My name is Monika, I am health and nutrition psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, teach and provide psychological counselling. Book my talk to ask more about meditation and psychology!
#spoonfulofreason #psychology #recommendedbook #books #recommendation
What does brain do when we watch a movie? Results of the magnetic resonance reveal that we get more involved (that is more coordinated brain activity is dedicated) in more emotional scenes. This higher involvement state is rather similar among different people - we kind of get synchronized. When involvement is lower, then mind "wanders" in an individual manner, and the state is quite distinct for each person. When following the movie review people were asked to recall the movie, it was possible to predict what the story will feature - they were the same higher involvement and more intense emotion scenes.
I only wonder what my brain does when I watch Fawlty Towers for several hundredth time...
My name is Monika, I am health and nutrition psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, teach and provide psychological counselling. Book my talk to ask more about food and psychology!
Photo: Free-Photos from Pixabay
#spoonfulofreason #psychology #research #movie #brain #memory
Today I would like to suggest a great find on the children bookshelves - Aurelie Chen Chow Chine books with little unicorn Gaston.
The original French versions contain multiple books, activity journals and the plush unicorn itself, hopefully other languages will catch up soons with all the great materials. Just think about it, to learn, recognize, understand and correctly name all the emotions is a difficult task, not necessarily easy to deal with for an adult - and when you are just a tiny corn, in the constantly overwhelming world, and sometimes you realize that you are doing something wrong and making the adults unhappy - then it becomes a really difficult task.
I am sure that the books will be very useful to both children and their parents.
My name is Monika, I am health and nutrition psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, teach and provide psychological counselling. Book my tlak to ask more about psychology!
#spoonfulofeason #psychology #recommendation #books #bookrecommendations