Freedom - big, heavy, expansive word. Sometimes it says it all, sometimes used very inappropriately, covering up laziness, intimidation, passive aggression or soreness. But probably never used with light heart, carelessly.
Physical freedom is definitely very important. But in the core freedom is a spiritual, mental state. In my dictionary freedom means ability to choose - from what you see, what you are able to choose, what you are willing to choose, what you aim to choose, what you strive for - also if you allow to make the choice yourself. It also means that along with freedom to choose you also accept the responsibility for the footprint that choice will leave, for the consequences. Also that you accept the possibility that you will not succeed, and that you will be responsible for the bitter consequences of this failure - not only for the sweet consequences of the victory. Also that you accept responsibility that you will be responsible or even guilty, and not anyone else. That choices may be so many that you will stand frozen, unable to consider thousands of possibilities, afraid to toss a coin and just choose anything - and also afraid to admit that you don't have what it takes to make a choice. Oh, how you wish to give away that freedom in a moment like that and give away the guilt to someone else. To have everything clear cut and structured, predictable, without need to think or fail, without need to be responsible.
But such happiness is quite shallow. It is always limited, drying out at the nearest wall. I believe freedom is selfless - to climb over someone is not a freedom, it is selfishness. To do as you wish, as it seems to you, without looking back at consequences - this is not freedom, it is just callous. It is like giving a praise to yourself for being smart and fine. Sad. You cannot pick out bits and pieces that you like from the freedom, it comes whole, or does not come at all. Freedom is a whole different thing.
Happiness that grows from freedom is completely different. Sure, it is scratched, muddy, fallen a couple of times, a little hungry, but smiling from the bottom of the heart, with sparkling eyes and messy hair. Priceless, unmatched, irreplaceable.
#atmintisgyvanesliudija #prisimenukodelesamelaisvi #neverforget #irememberwhywearefree
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Podcast I would like to recommend - "Infinite Monkey Cage". While it covers a very wide range of topics, today I enjoyed "Science of Dreaming", and there is more on human mind and psychology related subjects. It is difficult to discuss such a subjective field with so much reliance on memory and personal interpretation, but these guys do it brilliantly. Podcast hosts - Brian Cox and Robin Ince with a panel of cool guests for each episode.
Episode on dreaming: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0008wtj
My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach.proto
#spoonfulofreason #psychology #recommendations #podcast #infinitemonkeycage
Book that I would like to recommend this week is in Lithuanian, Danutė Gailienė "Ką jie mums padarė". I am not sure if an English version exists, but it definitely should. It is not only about the psychology of the personal trauma, but also about what happens to the whole nation during wars, repressions and exile. Not only what happens in general, but also what did happen to our parents and grandparents and what does it mean to us and our children. A difficult read, excellent writing style and an important piece of knowledge.
My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach. Book my talk to know more.
#spoonfulofreason #psychology #recommendation #book
Do you like our own pictures? No?... This is why. And how to change it.
People often dislike their own photo, because they believe they look better (this is called "self-enhancement bias"). Even those who claim that they do not like their own look, have an internal "pretty me" which is "in reality" or which "should be" - and get disappointed when it magically does not materialize.
Another reason - we usually like what we see often (this is called "mere exposure effect"). Even though we see ourselves quite often, it also often happens _in the mirror_, and the subtle difference of reverse picture is sufficient to not identify it with yourself as you see in the picture.
What to do:
🧠 use exposure effect for your benefit - makes selfies often and look at them (no need to publish :); shot glance will be more productive to generate the effect than long staring. Keep in mind that selfies will increase sense that you are attractive to yourself, and not to others.
🧠 smile. During smiling perception of attractiveness also increases, even if the face has objectively unattractive features.
🧠 perceived attractiveness is related to perceived happiness - which makes it worthwhile cultivating you own small happy moments (and taking pictures of them... :)
🧠 look at the old pictures - this advice is not scientific, but comes from author's own experience. But I see the logic here, as man of us tend to romanticise the past
My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach.
Bornstein, R. (1989). Exposure and affect: Overview and meta-analysis of research, 1968–1987. Psychological Bulletin, 106(2), 265–289. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.106.2.265
Diener, E., Wolsic, B., & Fujita, F. (1995). Physical attractiveness and subjective well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69(1), 120.
Epley, N., & Whitchurch, E. (2008). Mirror, mirror on the wall: Enhancement in self-recognition. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34(9), 1159-1170.
#spoonfulofreason #psychology #photographs #attractiveness
Photo: Milada Vigerova from Pixabay