Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
What qualities should you look for in your partner? First of all I liked the introduction - all people need warm and supportive relationships, but no other person can fully met these needs. Noone. Any expectation to meet sometimes THAT one person are instantly doomed for frustration and deserve a page in fairytale book. And noone deserves your anger just because he or she does not meet your fairytale expectations. Ok, back to partners. Your long term partners should have these qualities: 1. Empathy. This is kind of self-explanatory. 2. Sense of humor. Sometimes timely high quality joke can defuse a looming emotional storm. 3. Wish and capacity to talk. This is a main tool to align different understanding, goals and actions between two different people. Without it there are too much ambiguity BETWEEN two people. 4. Understanding basic emotional responses. Very useful when emotions rage - because you cannot look for rational arguments or logic there. Usually there is nothing to fix (and usually impossible) - one and omnipotent fix here is patient listening to your partner. 5. Understanding need for basic ground rules. They become especially important after the romantic phase is over. For example rules how you fight (because you definitely will) and how you make up. How you cannot insult, lie, leave an unfinished talk, shout, ignore other person's feelings or threaten to leave. I like that. Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotion-information/202010/5-qualities-look-in-life-partner Photo: Oldiefan from Pixabay My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach.

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Siam Ali
I like it.
8 months ago
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Monika KuzminskaitėHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating matters
Good :)
8 months ago
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8 months ago
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Povilas GodliauskasWell-being Psychologist | Mentor | Lecturer | Consultant | HR |
Great on paper! But as someone with a psych background and an (un)fortunately long list of ex partners, I can tell right away that finding a person who checks all boxes is nearly impossible. Another thing: it's much better cultivating these traits in yourself than demanding something in others. This way, you will be able to "teach" the other person by showing a good example.
7 months ago
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Monika KuzminskaitėHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating matters
Pauliau, definitely. But I read it not as requirement list, but chance to replace the standard "pretty, wealthy, successful" with something more meaningful. As always, it is a wishlist and direction, not hard requirement :)
7 months ago
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Podcast I would like to recommend - "Infinite Monkey Cage". While it covers a very wide range of topics, today I enjoyed "Science of Dreaming", and there is more on human mind and psychology related subjects. It is difficult to discuss such a subjective field with so much reliance on memory and personal interpretation, but these guys do it brilliantly. Podcast hosts - Brian Cox and Robin Ince with a panel of cool guests for each episode. Episode on dreaming: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0008wtj My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach.proto #spoonfulofreason #psychology #recommendations #podcast #infinitemonkeycage
The Infinite Monkey Cage - Series 20 - Science of Dreaming - BBC Sounds
www.bbc.co.uk
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Book that I would like to recommend this week is in Lithuanian, Danutė Gailienė "Ką jie mums padarė". I am not sure if an English version exists, but it definitely should. It is not only about the psychology of the personal trauma, but also about what happens to the whole nation during wars, repressions and exile. Not only what happens in general, but also what did happen to our parents and grandparents and what does it mean to us and our children. A difficult read, excellent writing style and an important piece of knowledge. My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach. Book my talk to know more. #spoonfulofreason #psychology #recommendation #book
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Do you like our own pictures? No?... This is why. And how to change it. People often dislike their own photo, because they believe they look better (this is called "self-enhancement bias"). Even those who claim that they do not like their own look, have an internal "pretty me" which is "in reality" or which "should be" - and get disappointed when it magically does not materialize. Another reason - we usually like what we see often (this is called "mere exposure effect"). Even though we see ourselves quite often, it also often happens _in the mirror_, and the subtle difference of reverse picture is sufficient to not identify it with yourself as you see in the picture. What to do: 🧠 use exposure effect for your benefit - makes selfies often and look at them (no need to publish :); shot glance will be more productive to generate the effect than long staring. Keep in mind that selfies will increase sense that you are attractive to yourself, and not to others. 🧠 smile. During smiling perception of attractiveness also increases, even if the face has objectively unattractive features. 🧠 perceived attractiveness is related to perceived happiness - which makes it worthwhile cultivating you own small happy moments (and taking pictures of them... :) 🧠 look at the old pictures - this advice is not scientific, but comes from author's own experience. But I see the logic here, as man of us tend to romanticise the past My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach. Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/201710/2-key-reasons-we-may-dislike-photos-ourselves Sources: Bornstein, R. (1989). Exposure and affect: Overview and meta-analysis of research, 1968–1987. Psychological Bulletin, 106(2), 265–289. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.106.2.265 Diener, E., Wolsic, B., & Fujita, F. (1995). Physical attractiveness and subjective well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69(1), 120. Epley, N., & Whitchurch, E. (2008). Mirror, mirror on the wall: Enhancement in self-recognition. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34(9), 1159-1170. #spoonfulofreason #psychology #photographs #attractiveness Photo: Milada Vigerova from Pixabay
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