Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
What qualities should you look for in your partner? First of all I liked the introduction - all people need warm and supportive relationships, but no other person can fully met these needs. Noone. Any expectation to meet sometimes THAT one person are instantly doomed for frustration and deserve a page in fairytale book. And noone deserves your anger just because he or she does not meet your fairytale expectations. Ok, back to partners. Your long term partners should have these qualities: 1. Empathy. This is kind of self-explanatory. 2. Sense of humor. Sometimes timely high quality joke can defuse a looming emotional storm. 3. Wish and capacity to talk. This is a main tool to align different understanding, goals and actions between two different people. Without it there are too much ambiguity BETWEEN two people. 4. Understanding basic emotional responses. Very useful when emotions rage - because you cannot look for rational arguments or logic there. Usually there is nothing to fix (and usually impossible) - one and omnipotent fix here is patient listening to your partner. 5. Understanding need for basic ground rules. They become especially important after the romantic phase is over. For example rules how you fight (because you definitely will) and how you make up. How you cannot insult, lie, leave an unfinished talk, shout, ignore other person's feelings or threaten to leave. I like that. Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotion-information/202010/5-qualities-look-in-life-partner Photo: Oldiefan from Pixabay My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach.

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Siam Ali
I like it.
4 months ago
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Monika KuzminskaitėHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating matters
Good :)
4 months ago
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4 months ago
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Povilas GodliauskasTech Recruiter & Career Coach / Founder @ coach.lt
Great on paper! But as someone with a psych background and an (un)fortunately long list of ex partners, I can tell right away that finding a person who checks all boxes is nearly impossible. Another thing: it's much better cultivating these traits in yourself than demanding something in others. This way, you will be able to "teach" the other person by showing a good example.
4 months ago
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Monika KuzminskaitėHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating matters
Pauliau, definitely. But I read it not as requirement list, but chance to replace the standard "pretty, wealthy, successful" with something more meaningful. As always, it is a wishlist and direction, not hard requirement :)
4 months ago
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Meta-analysis. What is the trait most important for the happy relationships? Wealth, health, patience? No, no and no. This meta-analysis (in this case, summarized results from 174 various research papers) states that the most important trait is psychological flexibility. Having this important yet underrated trait means that people even in very stressful situation can: - remain open and accept both good and bad from life - stay present - gently accept difficult, complex feelings and let them go - see a wider context of issues in question - live according to the core values - stay resilient while pursuing important life goals The happiness in relationships improves because people are able to live in the moment and in cohesion, are better at parenting and at resolving conflicts and are better able to take care of their children well-being. Psychological flexibility may be improved by mindful attention to the events in your life, cognitive therapy practices (such as Socratic questioning) and meditation. Research: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2212144720301952 Photo: Hari Mohan from Pixabay My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach. #spoonfulofreason #research #happiness #psychologicalflexibility

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Lina LinkeviciuteLuxury Business and Sales Professional/Theatre Director/Timeless Paintings
Absolutely interesting stuff !!! Would like to know more about psychological flexibility !
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Words can hurt, maybe even more than fists. Does that happen to you? Do people keep things from you on purpose, do not share their thoughts and feelings, dismiss and counter your memories, blame you for the things you cannot control, calling you names or using hurtful labels? Well, that is verbal psychological abuse, a common component of romantic relationships, friendships and parent-child relationships. None ever deserves to be treated like that, and such behavior should always be objected. First instinct is to always argue with the abuser and to prove him or her wrong. And that would be the right instinct if it was a rational conversation, which is never that with an abuser. An effective strategy is to ignore the content of any hurtful phrase and calmly call out the abuser. Do not get into argument. If this calm statement does not work - leave the situation, limit the encounters with the abuser, or consider ending the relationship (which might be difficult, if you depend on the abuser - but still worth considering). Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/201612/the-best-way-end-verbal-abuse Photo: Ulrike Mai from Pixabay My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach. #spoonfulofreason #psychology #verbalabuse #psychologicalabuse
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Documentary I would like to recommend: "Heal" (available on Netflix). I will start with the statement that I am always quite careful with non-scientific methods as well as paranormal things, and value most of them as interesting from cultural perspective and not something to rely on. Nevertheless, most of this documentary is about the biopsychosocial model, about how mind and body are related, how it is important to not give up and use every measure in order to achieve good and balanced health for every one. https://www.netflix.com/lt/title/80220013 #spoonfulofreason #psychology #health #whattowatch

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Miu BashoEngineer student, lab technician pharmaceutical industry
At times likes these, I believe this is a good recommendation to watch. Thank you!
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