Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Article. Why do couples break up? No, not because they are not satisfied. If you both are satisfied, your relationship goes on (happily ever after), and if you both, or one of you is not satisfied, then your relationship breaks up, right? No, not so fast. Researchers claim that satisfaction is a consequence, not the reason for relationship split. The reason is perceived relationship risk and perceived relationship reward. When entering relationship we must accept the risk of being rejected, not listened to, not being understood, of being hurt or belittled. Of course we hope it will not happen, but we cannot guarantee it. We constantly choose between personal needs and needs to grow and develop relationship. We are forced to admit that strong relationship can be created only through making yourself vulnerable to your partner, and we need to open up all of our own armor towards the loved one. If this trust fails, we start closing up again, and relationship starts growing cold. I need to stress here, that it is all about perceived risk and perceived reward. This area is not safe from perception errors. On the other hand, perceived threat is not the critical factor in relationship breakup - perceived reward is. Perceived reward is intimacy, love and feeling of connection. If any of these are low, relationship is likely to end (after all, people say so often - we do don have anything in common). In this picture overall satisfaction with relationship or attachment do not play a major role. People need to have a common meaningful activity to want to be together, and this meaning needs to be achievable only when those two people act together. If relationship is pleasant or "there is nothing wrong with that" - it does not have sufficient reason to exist. As it is not sufficient to say "what does she want with me, I am not doing anything wrong". The key is always what WE do together. From "we develop cancer cure together" to "we sow carrots together". Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/202008/why-do-people-break-its-not-lack-satisfaction Photo: Nicole Schüler from Pixabay
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Meta-analysis. What is the trait most important for the happy relationships? Wealth, health, patience? No, no and no. This meta-analysis (in this case, summarized results from 174 various research papers) states that the most important trait is psychological flexibility. Having this important yet underrated trait means that people even in very stressful situation can: - remain open and accept both good and bad from life - stay present - gently accept difficult, complex feelings and let them go - see a wider context of issues in question - live according to the core values - stay resilient while pursuing important life goals The happiness in relationships improves because people are able to live in the moment and in cohesion, are better at parenting and at resolving conflicts and are better able to take care of their children well-being. Psychological flexibility may be improved by mindful attention to the events in your life, cognitive therapy practices (such as Socratic questioning) and meditation. Research: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2212144720301952 Photo: Hari Mohan from Pixabay My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach. #spoonfulofreason #research #happiness #psychologicalflexibility

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Lina LinkeviciuteLuxury Business and Sales Professional/Theatre Director/Timeless Paintings
Absolutely interesting stuff !!! Would like to know more about psychological flexibility !
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Words can hurt, maybe even more than fists. Does that happen to you? Do people keep things from you on purpose, do not share their thoughts and feelings, dismiss and counter your memories, blame you for the things you cannot control, calling you names or using hurtful labels? Well, that is verbal psychological abuse, a common component of romantic relationships, friendships and parent-child relationships. None ever deserves to be treated like that, and such behavior should always be objected. First instinct is to always argue with the abuser and to prove him or her wrong. And that would be the right instinct if it was a rational conversation, which is never that with an abuser. An effective strategy is to ignore the content of any hurtful phrase and calmly call out the abuser. Do not get into argument. If this calm statement does not work - leave the situation, limit the encounters with the abuser, or consider ending the relationship (which might be difficult, if you depend on the abuser - but still worth considering). Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/201612/the-best-way-end-verbal-abuse Photo: Ulrike Mai from Pixabay My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach. #spoonfulofreason #psychology #verbalabuse #psychologicalabuse
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Documentary I would like to recommend: "Heal" (available on Netflix). I will start with the statement that I am always quite careful with non-scientific methods as well as paranormal things, and value most of them as interesting from cultural perspective and not something to rely on. Nevertheless, most of this documentary is about the biopsychosocial model, about how mind and body are related, how it is important to not give up and use every measure in order to achieve good and balanced health for every one. https://www.netflix.com/lt/title/80220013 #spoonfulofreason #psychology #health #whattowatch

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Miu BashoEngineer student, lab technician pharmaceutical industry
At times likes these, I believe this is a good recommendation to watch. Thank you!
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