Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Article. Why do couples break up? No, not because they are not satisfied. If you both are satisfied, your relationship goes on (happily ever after), and if you both, or one of you is not satisfied, then your relationship breaks up, right? No, not so fast. Researchers claim that satisfaction is a consequence, not the reason for relationship split. The reason is perceived relationship risk and perceived relationship reward. When entering relationship we must accept the risk of being rejected, not listened to, not being understood, of being hurt or belittled. Of course we hope it will not happen, but we cannot guarantee it. We constantly choose between personal needs and needs to grow and develop relationship. We are forced to admit that strong relationship can be created only through making yourself vulnerable to your partner, and we need to open up all of our own armor towards the loved one. If this trust fails, we start closing up again, and relationship starts growing cold. I need to stress here, that it is all about perceived risk and perceived reward. This area is not safe from perception errors. On the other hand, perceived threat is not the critical factor in relationship breakup - perceived reward is. Perceived reward is intimacy, love and feeling of connection. If any of these are low, relationship is likely to end (after all, people say so often - we do don have anything in common). In this picture overall satisfaction with relationship or attachment do not play a major role. People need to have a common meaningful activity to want to be together, and this meaning needs to be achievable only when those two people act together. If relationship is pleasant or "there is nothing wrong with that" - it does not have sufficient reason to exist. As it is not sufficient to say "what does she want with me, I am not doing anything wrong". The key is always what WE do together. From "we develop cancer cure together" to "we sow carrots together". Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/202008/why-do-people-break-its-not-lack-satisfaction Photo: Nicole Schüler from Pixabay
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating matters3 days ago
Does minimalism, besides being nice source of content for social media, have any other benefits, for example, psychological? Apparently, it does. The research outlines four behaviors related to minimalism: clutter removal, cautious shopping, longevity (of the purchased items, I assume) and self-sufficiency. The research also found that minimalism significantly increases feeling of flourishing (nice choice of the term!) and alleviates depression. 👆 I _always_ said, that tidying is a great form of meditation, that it is also a series of calm, repetitive motions (and leads to relaxation), besides, the result is always visually pleasing! My name is Monika, I am health and nutrition psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, teach and provide psychological counselling. Book my talk to know more about psychology of cleaning! Study: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352550921000397 Photo: Scott Webb from Pixabay #spoonfulofreason #psychology #minimalism #tidying #flourishing #depression

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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Today I would like to recommend a book - Jon Kabat-Zinn "Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness meditation for everyday life". Meditation is one of the most valuable skills that you can learn to improve and maintain your health in a good condition. This means your mental health as well as your physical health, which is definitely very much related to and dependant on your psychological balance. The author is Western so the book does not contain multiple words that are not relatable to our daily life and language. I also would like to dissipate another often used and incorrect idea - meditation is not a practice of silencing your thoughts. Meditation is practice of concentrating your focus on your passing thoughts, on may object or action. You may meditate while cleaning your home, walking, or sitting down. You don't need to have a mat, sit in lotus pose or burn incense - you may choose to use it all ar one of it, if it helps you to focus. Take a breath. Lightly exhale. My name is Monika, I am health and nutrition psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, teach and provide psychological counselling. Book my talk to ask more about meditation and psychology! #spoonfulofreason #psychology #recommendedbook #books #recommendation

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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
What does brain do when we watch a movie? Results of the magnetic resonance reveal that we get more involved (that is more coordinated brain activity is dedicated) in more emotional scenes. This higher involvement state is rather similar among different people - we kind of get synchronized. When involvement is lower, then mind "wanders" in an individual manner, and the state is quite distinct for each person. When following the movie review people were asked to recall the movie, it was possible to predict what the story will feature - they were the same higher involvement and more intense emotion scenes. I only wonder what my brain does when I watch Fawlty Towers for several hundredth time... My name is Monika, I am health and nutrition psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, teach and provide psychological counselling. Book my talk to ask more about food and psychology! Research: https://www.pnas.org/content/118/33/e2021905118 Photo: Free-Photos from Pixabay #spoonfulofreason #psychology #research #movie #brain #memory

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