Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
How to argue with your partner? - Acknowledge that the other side has good intentions as well. Aloud. As in "I know you mean well", and without the irony - Avoid blaming ("you always do that...") - Speak about yourself - I feel, I think, I can't - do not guess other person's feelings, thoughts or intentions - Own your behavior - understand that what you do may be a part or contribute to the disagreement - Accept that other person may be defensive in the arguments (which is very normal), try to tolerate it (meaning observe without attempting to change it) - Speak about solutions; if the solution depends on the behavior of other person - ask, request, discuss, but do not demand. It is difficult to argue... but possible! As your abilities to argue will grow and improve, your arguments will turn into very short and productive "work meetings"

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Andrew Lim Mao TungWindows System Admin with a passion to motivate and likes Technology.
For me, I just give in, and adapt to my partner requests. Too old to argue, increase Stress, and not resolve anything.
10 months ago
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Monika KuzminskaitėHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating matters
Sometimes it is also a good strategy - grass bends in the wind and comes back up after wind calms.
10 months ago
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Eleonora OrCreator, deep thinker, artist
Thank you! Needed this yesterday 😁
10 months ago
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Monika KuzminskaitėHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating matters
Eleonora, hope it still helps.. :)
10 months ago
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Jorick SietsemaMental health
Needed this now thnx, had a conversation with a friend I told him he is absolutely right but that there is more to it. I understand his side but he didn't find anything I say valid cause he did not even wanna belief. He needed to see documents in front of his eyes and I also gave one wrong explanation about a thing.He took that to the extreme to say and make it so I didn't understand anything and it became a closed conversation where he wasn't open to change his beliefs. So the saying that grass bends in the wind and comes back up helped alot.
10 months ago
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Andrew Lim Mao TungWindows System Admin with a passion to motivate and likes Technology.
If you write number 9 on the floor, and 2 person is standing at the top, another at the bottom, 1 will see 6, onther sees 9, both are right, but argue, it is 6 and 9.
10 months ago
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Andrew Lim Mao TungWindows System Admin with a passion to motivate and likes Technology.
10 months ago
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Monika KuzminskaitėHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating matters
Jorick, glad it helped. Hopefully you can get it resolved eventually.
10 months ago
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Jorick SietsemaMental health
Haha one of my friends left me (probably for minimal of half a year) and the other one doesn't wanna talk about world matters anymore. But this just means there is room for other people, still gotta let these emotions of losing friends flow don't wanna hold then up and lose feelings 👍🏻
10 months ago
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Benedetta MarchiorelloViolin player
What I do think is that I thought that arguing is a more dinamic situation that brings to a solution, I always thought that great, I do have my idea and you have your idea. My idea will change a bit as a result of a conversation as yours and we will be patient enough when the other idea doesn’t fully match yours. The great idea would however be a overmatching sometimes of both the ideas to discuss together and to develop starting from a common starting point. This never happened.
9 months ago
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Podcast I would like to recommend - "Infinite Monkey Cage". While it covers a very wide range of topics, today I enjoyed "Science of Dreaming", and there is more on human mind and psychology related subjects. It is difficult to discuss such a subjective field with so much reliance on memory and personal interpretation, but these guys do it brilliantly. Podcast hosts - Brian Cox and Robin Ince with a panel of cool guests for each episode. Episode on dreaming: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0008wtj My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach.proto #spoonfulofreason #psychology #recommendations #podcast #infinitemonkeycage
The Infinite Monkey Cage - Series 20 - Science of Dreaming - BBC Sounds
www.bbc.co.uk
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Book that I would like to recommend this week is in Lithuanian, Danutė Gailienė "Ką jie mums padarė". I am not sure if an English version exists, but it definitely should. It is not only about the psychology of the personal trauma, but also about what happens to the whole nation during wars, repressions and exile. Not only what happens in general, but also what did happen to our parents and grandparents and what does it mean to us and our children. A difficult read, excellent writing style and an important piece of knowledge. My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach. Book my talk to know more. #spoonfulofreason #psychology #recommendation #book
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Monika Kuzminskaitė on PsychologyHealth psychologist, with special love for food and eating mattersSome time ago
Do you like our own pictures? No?... This is why. And how to change it. People often dislike their own photo, because they believe they look better (this is called "self-enhancement bias"). Even those who claim that they do not like their own look, have an internal "pretty me" which is "in reality" or which "should be" - and get disappointed when it magically does not materialize. Another reason - we usually like what we see often (this is called "mere exposure effect"). Even though we see ourselves quite often, it also often happens _in the mirror_, and the subtle difference of reverse picture is sufficient to not identify it with yourself as you see in the picture. What to do: 🧠 use exposure effect for your benefit - makes selfies often and look at them (no need to publish :); shot glance will be more productive to generate the effect than long staring. Keep in mind that selfies will increase sense that you are attractive to yourself, and not to others. 🧠 smile. During smiling perception of attractiveness also increases, even if the face has objectively unattractive features. 🧠 perceived attractiveness is related to perceived happiness - which makes it worthwhile cultivating you own small happy moments (and taking pictures of them... :) 🧠 look at the old pictures - this advice is not scientific, but comes from author's own experience. But I see the logic here, as man of us tend to romanticise the past My name is Monika, I am psychologist. I help to deal with daily and difficult questions about behavior, thinking, emotions. I write, counsel and teach. Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/201710/2-key-reasons-we-may-dislike-photos-ourselves Sources: Bornstein, R. (1989). Exposure and affect: Overview and meta-analysis of research, 1968–1987. Psychological Bulletin, 106(2), 265–289. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.106.2.265 Diener, E., Wolsic, B., & Fujita, F. (1995). Physical attractiveness and subjective well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69(1), 120. Epley, N., & Whitchurch, E. (2008). Mirror, mirror on the wall: Enhancement in self-recognition. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34(9), 1159-1170. #spoonfulofreason #psychology #photographs #attractiveness Photo: Milada Vigerova from Pixabay
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