In my previous post, I wrote about scheme which you can use when spoke with a stranger and want become acquainted. Today I share with another, F.O.R.M. scheme:
F – Family: Ask about other people’s families and tell them a little about yours.
O – Occupation: Ask about what they do for a living and tell them about what you do for a living.
R – Recreation: Ask them about what they do for fun (sports, hobbies, volunteering, kids’ activities) and talk about things you have in common or that you would like to try someday.
M – Motivation: Ask questions to determine what is important to the other person.
Tell me about your family.
How did you meet your husband/wife?
Where did you grow up?
Why did you move?
Tell me about your job/business?
What is the best part of your job?
What is most challenging?
How did you choose your job/profession?
What do you like to do in your spare time/for fun?
How did you get into that?
What is your favorite type of food/restaurant?
Aside from work and recreation, what is really important to you?
If you didn’t have to work, what would you do with your time?
If time and money were no object, what would you do?
What in the past has made you the happiest?
If you had a month to live, what would you do?
Use questions to guide the conversation. Be proactive listener; ask the right questions and guide the conversation. However, do not just ask questions; share appropriately about yourself as well. You want a conversation, not an interrogation.
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Emotional excitement is the main characteristic that encourages a person to change something in his life. The desire to have something does not encourage a person to act. Only emotional excitement causes us to get out of bed and do something. If you want to understand why you are not motivated to reach your goal, see if that goal affects you emotionally. Are your heart starts beating harder when you think about your goal/dream, or goose skin appears on your skin? If not, then this is not the goal you need to pursue. Find another one that lift you up.
When you are focused on your goal, your mind begins to move along the path of its realization. Suddenly, you have different ideas, you get to know the people you need, circumstances themselves develop in such a way that everything works out for you, in problems you see opportunities and inside you you feel enthusiasm.
Therefore, you always need to start with clearly formulated goals. What do you want? How would you like to see your life? How good should it be? What would you like to change dramatically? Focus on opportunities, not problems. You focus on the result, on what you want to achieve. This is the most basic thing. This is where it all starts.